ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
