Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
