i just google imaged poop.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
