I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
