Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
