hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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