His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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