what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
