I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize