There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
