Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
