I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
