You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
