i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
