is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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