when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
