I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
