What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize