OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
