Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize