then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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