I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i drank out of a bidet.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
