I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
