Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
