help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
