got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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