on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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