so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
