We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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