i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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