You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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