idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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