so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
