still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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