it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
