Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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