i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
