So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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