Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
