i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
