shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
