That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
