god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
