her vagine was all disorganized.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
