So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
from now on my penis is your penis
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
