How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
