So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
