This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
