i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
