I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
