are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
