i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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