I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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