May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
