Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Randomize
