Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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