If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so that wasnt chicken after all
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
