I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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