i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
