omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
