I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she pinky promised me she was 18
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
