i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
