she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
