they need to just BURY HIM!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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