you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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