I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
