if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
