my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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