dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
