NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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