3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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