after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
