It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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