Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
